Wow! It's while since I've updated. Partly because I didn't do much at the beginning of last week and I've either not been around or too tired to update since.

Last Thursday night I went to see Alyssa before she went away so didn't get to the Red Room for the Lach show until about 9.15. I've never seen him before so didn't know what he looks like so after shelling out £8.50 I asked Pete if it was the first band and he told me that I was actually watching Lach.

The show had all been brought forward because of the poor numbers of people there. I think when I got there there must have been about five non-band members there which maybe tripled by the end which is a crying shame when you think about how instrumental the guy was in the whole New York Antifolk movement. No one from that scene is a superstar but six people is kind of sad and doesn't bode well for him being able to coming back to the UK. I really enjoyed his set and kept trying to 'place' him as the [Insert here] of the Antifolk scene and kind of came up with the Buddy Holly/Jello Biafra (more tone of voice than outspoken politics) of the Antifolk scene. He's got a great way with an audience and didn't let the numbers affect his performance. He was pretty funny and after doing SPIDERMAN (HEY! THAT'S MY COMIC TURN!) he did a song where he told us it was about a famous 'George' and after hammering home clues that it was George Harrison and still no one shouted out who it was (I guessed but didn't want to seem like a Beatles fan – HEAVEN FORFEND!) so I shouted out 'George Michael' and he did a PERFECT altered verse as if it WAS about George Michael without being a dick about it and reaching for cheap gags, which was cool. I didn't chat with him afterwards because after talking to maybe his tour manager about my thoughts on MP3s I felt like I'd become a LOUDMOUTH (I've experienced this a couple of times lately, it's tiredness making me SPOUT on autopilot and I feel horribly opinionated) so went home.

I spotted this on the way home:



What is Suckling pig? Do they wait for the piglet to start sucklng THEN spit roast it? Do they roast the piglet and it's mother together? DId they make a point of having it on NINE ELEVEN?

Friday night RULED! It was going to be Jeffrey Lewis in Derby night but that was guzzumped by Theresa from Fists Birthday which was the Corr-rect choice! I went from work to James,Angi and Theresa's house for food which may have been the nicest thing I've eaten for about three weeks. I used to make DIET FALAFELS which, from memory tasted like PINE CONES compared with James's I'd made Theresa a card with a double bass peddle popping up on the inside and some Paulie Walnuts wings that came with some KETCHUPS so that she could re-enact the Pine Barrons episode. The curious thing about Paulie wings is that when you make them you are CONVINCED you will look EXACTLY like Paulie

when you have them on. Unfortunately, even when eating ketchups you DONT!

Katie and Adam arrived later with an AMAZING birthday cake that tasted like CHOCOLATE CHRISTMAS PUDDING! It was SPECTACULAR! Joe made a speech before Theresa blew the candle out which was touching and hilarious in exactly equal measures.

We went into town to the Orange Tree where Angi did some PALMISTRY on me and also gave a full and exhaustive top three guesses of my star sign. Sagittarius was closest and she ruled out Capricorn, despite my BAD poker face and 'and why not Capricorn?' TELL. I had a chat with Katie and a strange but not necessarily morbid discussion about death with Hannah which was cool.

After the pub, which seemed to condense two and a half hours into about 45 minutes, we went back to The Fists house where a hilarious act of social leprosy occurred. Essentially Me, Theresa, Katie, Adam and Joe (with a visit from Andy Radar) had the living room with cosy sofas to ourselves all night while everyone else was STANDING outside the comfy room. This was partly due to Joe's disco which was a random assortment of songs from Abba to Ray Charles which perhaps didn't entice people in but once the die was cast it was like an exclusion zone even when whole albums were being played. It just got FUNNIER that no one would join us.

At about three the load stone started twitching for home and I decided to get a cab at the same time that Katie and Adam did and at the same time that everyone else had had the same idea. I was nattering on the doorstep and even had done my goodbye hugs having a load of 'one more thing' Colombo chats, when Angi said 'do you fancy a cup of tea' and BOOM! Bedtime became SIX AM! It was LOVELY. I just hung out with Angi and James after the post party post pub post party and we shot the shit about stuff while listening to music including some GREAT stuff they've been working on. James also INFECTED me with FRANK BLACK who I've been continuously listening to in different forms since. It shunted my day the next day but there's no better way I could have spent the hours, it's what free time is made for.

On Saturday I did some NG7 CHORES. I got my hair MERCILESSLY cut. I think I was too tired to explain 'TRIM' properly and he got the 'number 2' bit only. I also bought a tire for Shania from Ilkeston road before going to see Sarah while listening to Frank Black all day. I Listened to Frank Black Francis the album of Pixies demos that he did with just a guitar. I once heard an interview with Kristin Hersh who said that she had heard some of the Pixies songs in the same way early on and had been disappointed when she heard the full band versions. I don't think she was dissing the band as in context it was about people playing on their own and making all the noise themselves with acoustic instruments, it was at the time of Hips and Makers. I also listened to the last album and a live album called Christmass which has some GREAT banter with the crowd on one track where he tries to get them to stop shouting stuff as he can't understand it and they KEEP DOING IT.

While I was in the hood, I snapped the only chipshop I know that sells deep-fried Quorn burgers:



At night, those bulbs WORK!

It reminds me of the phone box at the end of the road where I saw this:



I picked up the receiver and IT STILL WORKS!


We went to Rajah in Sherwood which is always great for food if a little greasy. We were going to watch Mighty Peking man after but there were region DVD issues so we caught some old Buffies and I went home to try to correct my sleep pattern.

On Sunday I had to do some work for work and sort Shania out. When I went to put Shania's tire on some FUCKER had dismantled the rear gear mechanism. I REALLY don't get it? People come to the hospital to see their relatives and while they are there they think 'umm, grandma seems a bit better, I hope she comes home soon, the doctors seem optimistic, I think I'll VANDALIZE THAT BICYCLE FOR NO APPARENT REASON, the person who owns it might be contributing to grandma's healthcare so I'll break a bit of their bike FO NO PERSONAL PROFIT – WHY HASN'T GOD EMBRACED ME TO HIS BOSOM YET AS I CLEARLY SERVE NO USEFUL PURPOSE WHATSOEVER .' Shania is on her last wheels I think. I've only been able to use her about 25% of the time in the last year with one thing and another. I may need to get a new bike but JESUS I HATE PEOPLE WHO BREAK BIKES FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

I headed into town as I had some crackpot scheme to go to Kimberley to collect a Bass Amp modeller that I won on ebay for £35 (no one would sell their ampworks so I bought a Zoom). I've never been there and I thought it might be a laugh to go instead of having to rely on the POSTFOOL to NOT deliver it but send it to the Glaisdale Parkway ABYSS. When I got there I heard from Jaynie that she was hanging out in the Lord Roberts later so went there for a hang out UNTIL HALF TWELVE.

I then remembered that my upset at the Shania ASSAULT (Whaaaat? Noel gets pushed over and everyone calls that an assault) I'd forgotten to take home my work jacket to wear to Joe's Dad's funeral on Monday.

On Monday I woke up feeling HIDEOUS. The Friday night internal clock 'experiment' plus Sunday's late night had taken it's toll. I got a cab to the Crematorium at Wilford Hill and at first thought I was in the wrong bit as Debi's Nan's funeral had been at some modern building and this looked more like a chapel and was in the middle of the cemetery.

It's strange, I met Joe's Dad, Dave Turner only once officially, at a tribute show for him about six months ago, maybe longer. In the sixties/seventies he was involved in the folk scene in a similar vein to Billy Connoly and Jasper Carrot and wrote very carefully written funny folk songs as well as more serious songs. Joe recently called me a 'Peasant's Dave Turner' meaning one-step down from a Poor-Man's Dave Turner, but to be honest, if you listen to the care and skill put into his lyrics and what an excellent guitar player he was, it's still an over-complement. I don't care, Punk Rock happened in between which lets me off on both counts. Aaanyway, Fred Wedlock recorded some of Dave's songs and Joe has picked up some stories about animosity between Dave and Jasper Carrot based on Dave outshining him at his club in Birmingham. I spoke with a guy at the wake who also said that Dave opened the first open-mic night in Nottingham and that they haven't always been around in that format and that Dave had co-started the open mic at the Golden Fleece that Bruce now 'curates' and is probably the best in Nottingham.

A few years ago I went to some Cosmic American show with Leah at the maze and the guy supporting said to the audience that he used to play in Nottingham and did anyone know Dave Turner. I spoke with him later and told him I knew Joe, who he remembered as 'little Joe' and I think I gave him Joe's details.

Joe's Dad has been in poor health since I've known Joe and you'd often see him on Alfreton road with his long beard looking unkempt. A comedian walking home with Joe, once pointed at him and did the 'That's your Dad' joke on Joe who promptly said it WAS and introduced him to his Dad. I'd see Joe's dad quite often but was pretty sure he wouldn't remember me from meeting him.

There was a cool bit in the Evening Post about him and Joe's made a myspace for his Dad with some cool recordings and some great pictures, some of which look like Joe.

 http://www.myspace.com/daveturnernottingham

The Service was pretty perfect. There were a LOT of people there and as someone remarked, a lot of people who would struggle to get there at nine on a Monday morning. The vicar who led the service was Dave's nephew (or at least referred to him as Uncle Dave) so knew him in a very personal way, so much so that he needed to stop for a moment in the middle to compose himself. At the end of one section he actually got a ROUND OF APPLAUSE that he kind of ignored as not being what he'd wanted, he certainly wasn't showboating but speaking from the heart. He read from the bible the passage about the 'other two' crucified criminals one of whom accepted Jesus reminding everyone that this is what you need to do to get into heaven which was appropriate as some of the family were Christians. I've been to a few very unsatisfactory funerals but it seemed the perfect balance between respectful and affectionate.

After the Funeral we went on to the Running Horse for the wake. I left at lunch time as everyone I knew would be pretty busy and i wanted to change and ended up crashing out and not going back until the evening where the wake had been moved to the Hand and Heart. I bumped into Joe who was on his way home and someone had removed the poster from the Running Horse door saying where it had moved so we made another one. When I got there there were a few people singing songs with some guitars and a keyboard which was nice. Carol asked if I wanted to play but I declined because it seemed like a thing for the 'Grown ups' (I.Am.Now.Forty!) and she asked if I could only play songs on my 'silly little guitar' which isn't ENTIRELY true although I'm used to it and it's tuned low.

It seemed like a fitting day of remembrance.

Today I kind of had HIGH HOPES of doing something constructive but in reality, I did some of this, watched some Wire, met up with Krisztina for lunch at that Christian Cafe with the Mad Max and Alice Cooper quote in the window opposite Argos,, dossed around town finding a CLOSED bike shop and finally came home. I think I need a proper night's sleep and can get stuck into doing something useful with my days off. I'm doing a lot of thinking about STUFF at the moment. I had a fairly interesting revelation lately which is fueled by what's happening with my Dad and which was rattled by stuff I mulled over yesterday and RIDICULOUSLY by the FUCKING WIRE with the quote 'Life is what happens while you're waiting for those moments that never come'. I'm not sure if it's a cynical statement or a call to get stuck in with the day to day rather than always PLANNING on stuff. It was helpful in the pro gramme (well, for a season) but I'm not sure it's doing much for me.

Aaaaaaaanyway! Rest of the week:

Tomorrow: Tidy the Kitchen, meet Kris for Lunch, Meet Joe, Maybe Meet Holly

Thursday: Meet Lesley for a TEA SHOP CRAWL No Kidding.  We've got FOUR HOURS to get from Lee Rosy to Sherwood.  I reckon:

Lee Rosy
The Christian Place with Mad Max and Alice
Dottys on Mansfield Road
The Church on the corner of Gregory Boulevard
The couple in Sherwood

Six cups of tea - alternate sweet and savory accompaniments!

Friday: Who KNOWS but I want to write a song this week.

PS. The guy who coined the phrase 'Right tool for the job' NEVER had the JOY of chopping a tree down in his garden with a MEAT CLEAVER because he needed to put his wheelie bin away before the council TELL ON HIM TO THE PO-LICE!

PPS

Explain the algebra of this to me:



How can she EQUAL it and LOVE it at the same time?